I was at the check-in counter at the New Delhi Airport. For a flight from Delhi to Varanasi. I made a mistake and bought tickets from Delhi to Varanasi and Varanasi to Goa. The mistake was that the flight was one month too early for all four of us. I felt devastated. It became a life changing event - we reached the point of no return.
Completely drained, not only I was tired but also my children. Being the first time in an unknown country I realised India has its own rules. At that moment I felt sick and tired of everything in my life.
My world hat come to a climax long before. All of a sudden I felt it was a turning moment right there in India, it was the first bright feeling in a long chain of gloomy days. But all the remaining tension would not leave me for years, the tension had grown into me, I could not really understand where the end was and where my new life started.
I didn't remember my desires, when was the last time I was willing to create and having the power to start something? Where was the place I want to create? Pictures from the past were flashing before my eyes. I remembered the divorce. There was nothing left of me. It seemed like I didn't exist after that.
I was thinking about all that, I was ready to leave the cold and dirty Delhi still not sure what is coming, exhausted and ready to move on. Thinking back to this very moment now I realised this was the beginning of my brand 1001. There was no way back, I surrendered to this feeling and started to let go.
5 of January, 2017