I was at the check in counter at the New Delhi Airport. For a Flight Delhi to Varanasi. I made a mistake and I bought tickets for Delhi to Varanasi and Varanasi to Goa. The mistake was that the flight was one month too early for all four of us. I Feld devastated. It became a live changing event we reached the point of no return.
Completely drained not only I was tired but my children as well. For the first time in a strange country for us I realized India has it’s own rules. In this moment I just felt sick and tired of everything in my life.
My world hat come to an end ages before. All of a sudden I felt a new beginning right here in India, It was the first bright feeling in a long chain of gloomy days.
But all the remaining tension would not leave me for years, the tension had grown into me, I could not really understand where the end was and where my world started.
I didn't remember my desires, when was the last time I was willing to create and having the power to start something? Where was the place I want to create? Pictures from the past were flashing before my eyes.
I remembered the divorce. There was nothing left of me. It seemed like I didn't exist after that.
I was thinking about all that, I was ready to leave cold and dirty Delhi still not sure what is coming, exhausted and ready to move on. Thinking back to this very moment now I realized this was the beginning of my brand 1001. There was no way back I surrendered to this feeling and started to let go.
5 of January, 2017